Merson and McConaughey: Friends forever continued

At the height of his Arsenal career Paul ‘Mers’ Merson was photographed at a charity ball with the upcoming actor Matthew McConaghey. Shortly after the photograph was taken Mers, in his drug addled and booze soaked state, misunderstood McConaghey’s relaxed small talk and easy charm and thought he was attempting to take away his bag of Charles. He broke his Champagne flute on the American’s face and jabbed the base into McConaghey’s upper arm. He then said, “have it then” and emptied the Charles over his blood stained face before storming out of the party kicking over the canapés on his way out. It was then that the rest of the Arsenal team realised that Mers had a problem with addiction.

McConaghey, as is his way, was unruffled by this odd sequence of events. He took off his shirt, to sharp intakes of breath from the onlooking WAG’s, and wrapped it around his blood & Charles soaked head. He stood motionless for 5 minutes as he realigned his Karma and flexed his over developed triceps, before continuing his socialising for the evening. Martin Keown was later quoted as saying ‘it was amazing, he stood motionless for 5 minutes’ whilst Lee Dixon actually provided some insight to proceedings by explaining the history & benefits of Buddhist meditation. Since that now infamous evening in 1994, Matthew McConaghey has become a lifestyle guru to many of the Arsenal squad, whilst ‘Mers’ was sold to Middlesbrough 6 months later in an underwhelming deal.