Wednesday 10 November 2010

Sammy Lee - The worst day in the life of football's smallest mascot

Sammy Lee "I sat back in his vinyl reclining armchair inside his £167,000 semi-detatched mansion on the outskirts of Ramsbottom. As I bottle-fed one of my Jack Russel pups that I had been breeding since boyhood, I looked at the team photograph of Bolton Wanderers I had just crudely cut out from the Bolton Echo. I saw my red childlike face smiling back at me. In the photo I remember clearly that I was wearing my beloved earpiece, it still angeres me that they made me hand it back. I also thought that getting the sack after one win in only 11 matches wasn't fair and that I really hadn't had the time to build the team I wanted.

I remember the meeting with the chairman vividly. I remember looking down at my short legs as they dangled in the air not able to touch the floor. Tears welled up in my eyes and I struggled to hold it together. At my going away party only the kit man showed up and I had to eat all the turkey burgers myself, still at least there were some leftovers for my beloved jack russels. I folded in the leg rest away and put the dog on the floor, I needed to get some air. 

I stepped out of his patio doors and into my favorite place; MY garden. The cool wind felt good on my bare legs as I surveyed my kingdom; I had collected 700 garden gnomes, spending the lions share of my salary on these individual pieces of art. To me they were each little masterpieces, much like myself...

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