Soothsaying: Manchester United defender Patrice Evra says he wants to be a babysitter when he quits football. Evra would also like to do a television comedy with team-mate Park Ji-Sung

Today marks the second year of retirement for ex-Manchester United and Leicester City's duo Patrice Evra and Park Ji-Sung and with it comes news of their future, not in management within the catering industry as some former team mates expected following their consistently heady debates with Old Trafford canteen managers over the genuine nature of their 'Korean stir Fry' and 'red devil soup' , but instead with the launch of their new television comedy show.

It may sound a dramatic change in direction but it is the career that the pair began practising when they first met under Alex Ferguson's regime. Park recalls (through our bemused translator) 'we hit it off from the first, quite literally. When I bowed my head to Patrice he leaned in to kiss me on the cheeks, he's French, that's what he does...' when Patrice interjected saying 'and we bumped heads. The rest of the team laughed themselves silly especially when we were both trying to apologise in our respective languages'. Rio Ferdinand apparently said that it was like an episode of the racially motivated 70's sitcom Love thy Neighbour, whilst Ferguson claimed, 'right, when you wee c***s have stopped you're snogging we can get on with some footy'.

Throughout their tenure at Old Trafford the pair continued a very close friendship and were even a trio during the Carlos Tevez time. Park recounts the memory of one Christmas party at the club where the three of them put on a tri-lingual performance of the three stooges which had Christiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney in fits of laughter, 'they literally snotted everywhere' Evra maintains. But when Tevez left for Eastlands the trio was down to two and whilst their other team mates called them Timon and Pumba, (a nickname coined by Vidic in which he'd chase Park (Pumba) around the training ground with a corner flag used as a hunter's spear and made Evra (Timon) perform the hoola dance in the showers for him), the pair shunned the mockery and worked on their sketches when they weren't on the Playstation 3.

Following the departure and financial meltdown when the Glazer's finally went bankrupt, Park and Patrice secured a joint move to Muzzy Issit's Leicester City where the tomfoolery continued. In their twighlight years of otherwise lucrative careers they used Leicester as their launch pad for their stand-up tours, following their own brand of comedy based on Franglaisorean, a mixture of French, Korean and English which confused many audience members. When the tour was cut short following zero ticket sales they went their separate ways for twelve months. In this time Park set up his own mini cab firm in Salford and Evra followed his original dream of being a childcare provider.

Both seemed to be settling into their new careers without any trouble until the outbreak of 'Evra-Gate' which once again brought the murky world of youth transfers into the foreground of public opinion. It was claimed by parents using Evra's 'Papa Patrice's Parlour' day-care centre that Evra would schedule meetings during 'sandbox time' with youth scouts from Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool where the scouts would assess the children on dexterity, lack of vocabulary and IQ and their amazement at the sight of sports cars, gold and scantily clad imbecilic women. It was claimed that the children were forced to sign hand prints on contracts on which, is claimed, Evra cut a percentage of the deal. Though never proven, the press coverage was enough to close down the business and Park was the first to console his old team mate.

Seeing Evra's confidence hit rock bottom Park insisted on the pair following their original dream of becoming a comedy duo. After the failure of a few breakthrough programmes on freeview channels such as The two P's (in which Patrice and Park replaced Barry and Paul Chuckle as part of the BBC's campaign for more culturally diverse children's presenters) they also had stunning failures with  the game show 'Two P's or Toupees'? the documentary 'Parklife' where the pair followed stray dogs around Manchester's Parks and Dance competition STOP! EVRATIME' .  They finally hit on the idea of 'Patrick and June' a tri-lingual comedy/talk show following the format of the Kumars at no. 42 from the 90's. The show will be hitting BBC 3 screens this thursday and potential viewer's appetites will be wetted by Patrice and Jung's unique brand of married couple fighting amongst Patrice ('Patrick') interviewing old sporting friends. This week they will be joined by ex-Manchester United team mates and champion plate spinners Darren Fletcher and Nemanja Vidic...there's a strong belief that there'll be a spear and bacon on the menu. Should be worth a look.

I asked Patrice Evra and Park Ji Sung to paint us an exclusive picture of their future after football:

Pat and Park had been playing Mario Cart for 5 hours straight and were now down to just their boxer shorts and comedy bow-ties. The game, which P² (as they fondly known at the Carrington Training Ground) played every Friday afternoon involved removing an item of clothing every time you lost a race. Pat couldn’t understand why Park, who unlike himself had owned a games console for his entire childhood, continually seemed to crash out on the last corner and loose the race. It mattered little though as Pat was so competitive, he was just pleased to give the quiet Korean a decent game.

A couple of races later, both left-sided players were down to just their boxer shorts and they began what would be the last race that day. As on every Friday, Pat had turned up the thermostat in his one-bedroom flat before training that morning and sweat dripped off the two players as they entered the final lap. It happened every week but it still surprised them both when the last race was completely tied. As they sat the controllers down on Pat’s baby-blue poofs, shattered from their racing exploits, they looked each other in the c*ck and simultaneously whispered ‘we both loose’